Dear Ashley,

"Thank you very much for always being here for me. Lately things have been hard,
and I didn't really realize how much you've been trying for me. I guess since I felt
like you would always be here, I took you for granted. And then, when things started
to get hard and you weren't here anymore, I knew I had to have you around still. Why am I feeling this way? I don't know. And I really shouldn't try to find out, but whatever it is I don't want it to stop.

I'm thankful that you care for me so much and I appreciate that you take time out of your way to really treat me like I actually mean something to someone. I can say out of all the people that I talk to about my problems you're the only one that tries to do something to help me out, and thats something rare to find in someone nowadays.

Idk what to feel right now, but I'm sure I'll get over it later. Right now all I can do is feel appreciative that you're still around and willing to handle all the problems and trouble that I bright you. I don't deserve you the way that you say that I do. I'm very very sorry. I love you and I hope you can realize what message I'm trying to get across."

Streessssssss....

Is my bestfriend.

Just got the email from SchoolLoop about my approval into AP Lit..

Just look what we gotta do..



FML.

Flickr

This is a test post from , a fancy photo sharing thing.

I hate

Spanish 2 with so much passion.

I'm pretty sure I'm taking it again next year. FML.

be chill, cause right now i'm not.

Memorial Day

My regards to all those veterans, and those who passed away
defending us all in this country. You guys keep this country real.

Today, went to Alum Rock park with my family
and some of the members of the church to have a picnic.

Went mountain biking.
Pretty good, my legs were sore afterward.

Tasty BBQ.




All time favorite in Liquid Form.

My weekend plans/update

Daily confession: "So. I admit that you are really fun to talk to. We've both been busy lately, but in the moments that I still get to talk to you, you make me smile. Change everything else about us, but at least keep that the same. That's just another thing on my short list of stuff that keeps me going."


Today I got tons of stuff to do at school..
-Test in history,
-gotta do powerpoint SOON..hopefully before the weekend starts.
-Turn in 50-vocab word story.
-Ask Mr.Mohammad about my grade
-Submit Link crew application
-Ask Mrs.Barth about AP Lit

Later tonight..
-Youth Hour
-Prepare for Saturday's plan


My life is always so busy, but its what keeps things exciting.

One of two things I wish I had with me right now.

be chill

Stress x Vent pt 2 x Epiphany

It's building.
It only hit me today
that theres not that many weeks of school left.

I gotta get my act together FAST.
I've stalled too long.

My mom gave me a huge reality check, "If you're happy with the grades you're getting now so be it" "...but I'm not going to be happy with them"

The pressure is collapsing on me.
My ambitions in the first place came upon 2 very different options..

-Go to SDSU move back to SJ after I was done with all 4 years.
OR
-Apply CC, After 2 years, transfer to UC _____. Move back to SJ.

The second choice is longer, but a lot more beneficial.
Out of all my choices, UCLA UC Davis and UC Santa Barbara came to mind.

UCLA comes out on top. Academics and athletics.
Its a place where I can prove to myself what I can be.
I'm not gonna let all this dreaming and hopes go out for nothing.
Looking more into detail later, I'll tie in my CC major and my UC major
and become something great. I'll finally be something my parents, and myself,
can be proud of.


All heart, do work, nothing but love.
The only 3 sayings I need to keep me going 2 more years
of High school.

Sophmore year is practically done. The next 2 years of upperclassmen status
are gonna be what matter.

Unlike the other 9129319231 kids who
get these types of sweaters,
I'll be one of the few dozen
that would be able to say I actually
go there.

This is a test of my mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual limits. There is no turning back now.
Its time to start being a man.

Vent pt 1

Its been a while since I've been on this thing,
I almost forgot that it still existed.
Kinda funny when you put so much work into something
and it just ends up collapsing.

Kinda like on friday. We got 5th.
I wanted ANYONE to win, but them..
but I guess things just don't happen to go that way.

Then again, not a lot of things have gone my way this weekend.

In all honesty, I feel like I've done a lot of growing up within this weekend.
I learned to handle things in a more mature way, and I'm letting go
of my old bad habits. If not all of them, most of them. I can't do that anymore,
Sophmore year is almost over. I fucked up this year, and next year won't be any easier.

2 ap classes, officer for kababayan, ASB hopeful,
I can't let anything slow me down. I said I'm going to be the person I know I can be,
and I don't want to front with this also and say that I can do it all when I really can't.

too many things going through my head at once..
more to come tomorrow.

Blogging..

Is on a temporary break while I get focused on school.

My grades are..not as good as they were in the past,
and right now I gotta stay with it at least until June comes.

Pray

That my Lola will be safe through her Heart Surgery.

She's gone through too much, and I can't let her go through it alone anymore.

I want her to realize that all of us are here to support her.
I love you lola

I've realized

That I'm not the person I thought I was.

And with the help of a certain somebody, I am trying to be.
It will be hard and long until 6/21, but until that time comes
I'll try my best to make the most of what I have.

Focusing on church and school, the only places that should really matter right now
besides family.

If it means that I have less posts on here, then so be it

if for nobody in particular, I'm in this for myself
thank you to all that made me realize how much different I am than what I believed I was.

God bless