Sorry for lack of update,

I've had a lot on my mind lately.
I guess I can say, that this month, and last?
I changed a lot from there on.
I lost a lot of friends, gained a lot of friends.
I lost a lot of what I thought I was,
Gaining only to find out what I really am as a person.

I know that I am one that tries their best to make their loved ones happy.
At times, however, I feel this is also my biggest weakness-
because I am willing to do whatever it takes to get the person to smile,
even though you might not be smiling yourself.
I guess either I'm selfish in that person's perspective,
or selfless in a view that isn't my own.
Either way, I am very confused.

I like her, and I wish to be close with her.
May it just be another 'pretty girl' crush or it might be my real feelings exposed,
I'm not going to let this one pass me by.
I am trying my hardest to make sure that she doesn't leave me like the others did.

To lose her would be another thing torn from me, one of just far too many I can never replace back. I don't want all this time I spent on her to be wasted for nothing, so I'll make sure something does happen between us. It's a promise.

I'll be taking a trip Saturday from Wednesday,
I need to find out who I am as a person.
If my priorities are in the right places,
and If I really am fit to be right for her.

Whatever it takes then,
I'll make sure I'll be a boy she'll be proud to show her parents,
"Mom, dad, this is your future son-in-law."

SIKE! Hahaha, oh how I am a wishful thinker.
-jeff