Camp.

Camp was a pretty great experience for me.
I had my doubts about going at the last moments,
but I'm glad I did. It made me pretty confident again,
and it made my soul feel a lot more at ease.

I was in blue team.
I had
Maureen,
Justin,
Mark,
Vianny,
Sonia,
Terrick,
Gee,
Josh G,
Ashley,
Stacy,
and Jonah!
My counselors were Ate Miriam and Josh S.
All in my team!
At first I wasnt so sure of all the matchups,
but it was okay because I made friends with everyone I didnt know.

For 5 days I was experiencing bug bites, dirt all over my clothes, and itchiness.

But, also for 5 days I also was experiencing things that made me look inside my life, and how I need to become a better person.

I can say that through all the games, competition, skits, talent show, worship, 6:30AM workouts, YA-WEI's, and altar calls-
Its something I wouldn't forget.

I thank someone in particular from my team who kept me smiling all camp..
even though she stopped talking to me around day 3, its okay. (:
She made me hecka happy those days we did hang out.

Sorry for lack of update,

I've had a lot on my mind lately.
I guess I can say, that this month, and last?
I changed a lot from there on.
I lost a lot of friends, gained a lot of friends.
I lost a lot of what I thought I was,
Gaining only to find out what I really am as a person.

I know that I am one that tries their best to make their loved ones happy.
At times, however, I feel this is also my biggest weakness-
because I am willing to do whatever it takes to get the person to smile,
even though you might not be smiling yourself.
I guess either I'm selfish in that person's perspective,
or selfless in a view that isn't my own.
Either way, I am very confused.

I like her, and I wish to be close with her.
May it just be another 'pretty girl' crush or it might be my real feelings exposed,
I'm not going to let this one pass me by.
I am trying my hardest to make sure that she doesn't leave me like the others did.

To lose her would be another thing torn from me, one of just far too many I can never replace back. I don't want all this time I spent on her to be wasted for nothing, so I'll make sure something does happen between us. It's a promise.

I'll be taking a trip Saturday from Wednesday,
I need to find out who I am as a person.
If my priorities are in the right places,
and If I really am fit to be right for her.

Whatever it takes then,
I'll make sure I'll be a boy she'll be proud to show her parents,
"Mom, dad, this is your future son-in-law."

SIKE! Hahaha, oh how I am a wishful thinker.
-jeff

It's been a while, real talk

I guess that I have a lot to be thankful for.
For Almost 15 whole years of my life,
My life has been really great,
and I haven't realized that.
To ask for anything more than a bed, food, family and friends,
would just be plain spoiled bratty attitude to me.
I don't want to be a hypocrite though, because I did more of that and more.

I can remember enjoying pokemon.
So much I'd yell and scream and cry at my mom even when she was sick in bed when my dad was working, driving to Costco to buy the Video tape, and watch it in my room by myself, and leave her sick and not take care of her.

I can remember enjoying nintendo 64.
So much I can't remember how many times I've missed birthday parties, gatherings, and just spending family time with my relatives to get to unlock the next ???? mini-game on Mario Party.
I can remember enjoying stuffing my face.
So much I would cheat out my parents on their share of dinner, in order to satisfy my fatty needs. I feel hella bad, probably the worse knowing that there is lot of people who don't have a lot to go around, let alone a family to eat a dinner with.
I hate that I'm so ungrateful for a lot of things given to me, even if its something small, always thank your parents. A lot of parents gone through hell and back, doing their best to make a living for their kids.

I can't help but feel horrible when people say they hate their parents.
They do so much for us, and we hardly give them anything.
I point fingers at other kids, but then..when I look at myself, probably the worse out of all of them.

They cook for me, without even me asking.
They clean my room, without even me asking.
They do my laundry, without even me asking.
They do every single FUCKING THING IN THE HOUSE, without even me asking.
And where am I? In this room, being too much of a fool even posting up this blog at 1:30 in the morning, not even helping them out in the least.
I promise you guys, once I get my job and I make money,
I'll start paying you back 15 years worth of rent.

I'm not gonna be a kid that just drops and forgets about their parents like others do when they grow up,
I'm going to be someone they can finally say is their son.
The last time I was called 'their son' was 8 years ago,
In 2nd grade.
It might be another 80 before that chance will happen again,
But I swear it that I'm going to make it up to them.

Even if I gotta go through hell and back for every day I put them through.
It's worth it when you got parents that care about you.